Human Rituals
by Periwinkle Skittles
Summary: Lapis and Peridot stay up all night watching Camp Pining Hearts. Paulette almost drowns and Lapis gets angsty about water. Luckily, she has dorky little Peridot to help cheer her up. They also experiment with some human rituals ;) PeridotXLapis


" _We're on opposite teams in the kayak race, Paulette! This won't work out."_

" _But Percy, I love you!"_

Lapis groans and rolls her eyes. "Oh, get over him, Paulette!" She complains at the TV, "Quit acting like a lovesick puppy!"

"Yeah," Peridot snickers, "She's just embarrassing herself at this point." Lapis huffs and agrees.

It's currently 12:30am at the barn. The stars are out and Peridot and Lapis are once again binge-watching Camp Pining Hearts. Peridot has already caught Lapis up on all of the seasons, but now is showing her some of the special side episodes. They're on their makeshift balcony and sprawled out on a couch made of various blankets and quilts Lapis found.

Peridot is proud of how far the two have come. If someone had told her a few weeks ago that she and Lapis would one day be curled up on a bunch of blankets together and watching the greatest show in the world, Peridot would have laughed in their face.

Now, the green gem glances over at her companion as she gazes at the TV. Her whole body is calm and languid. ' _She looks quite at home,'_ Peridot muses, and can't help feeling a bit smug, ' _Mission accomplished.'_

Satisfied, Peridot looks back at the pre-recorded program and sinks back into the soft blankets. She has already seen this episode before and soon finds herself glancing up at the stars. The chatter from the TV fades into the background as her eyes search for Homeworld's galaxy. Her gaze lands on the bright star, glittering coldly in the dark blue night sky that's shimmering with thousands of other smaller stars. Unlike before, she no longer feels that old sense of longing pulling in her chest. Instead, Peridot feels her lip twitch upwards in a small smile.

All of the sudden, she feels a weight on her shoulder. Glancing down sharply, she sees that Lapis has slumped over a bit and is now leaning against her body. Peridot stares at her with wide eyes.

' _What's going on?'_ She thinks frantically, ' _What is she doing? Is she injured?'_ But Lapis is merely watching the show with the same calm demeanor as before. Peridot blinks. ' _She's… warmer than I had anticipated for an aquatic gem.'_ Then, she notices something about her own physical form. ' _Wh- why is my cardiac muscle beating at an elevated rate? It's unnecessary given the situation- illogical!'_

Lapis looks so comfy leaning against her that Peridot doesn't see any reason to ask her to move. It's not like the blue gem is hurting her or anything. Besides… it feels kind of nice…

Forcing down a blush, Peridot looks back at the TV. The characters in Camp Pining Hearts are competing in a kayak race. Peridot rolls her eyes; she knows how this is going to end.

As if on cue, Paulette lets out a dramatic cry and falls into the water. She instantly starts splashing around helplessly.

" _Percy, help me!"_

" _I'll save you, Paulette!"_

Peridot snorts, "Way to be a damsel in distress, Paulette! _Seriously!_ " She snickers and glances over at Lapis, only to see that her blue friend is no longer relaxed. In fact, her whole body has tensed up and she's staring at the screen with hard eyes. Confused, Peridot follows her gaze and watches as Paulette almost drowns, but Percy saves her.

' _Oh, right,'_ Peridot mentally curses herself, ' _Water issues. Way to go, genius.'_

Thankfully, the episode ends a few minutes later, but Lapis doesn't relax again for the rest of it. Crawling forward, Peridot turns off the TV and blinks at the sudden darkness.

"Did you like the episode?" She calls over her shoulder.

There's a whooshing sound and Peridot turns around to see Lapis standing. Her magnificent water wings are stretched out over the balcony and the green gem's head. Peridot ducks as Lapis flaps her wings.

"I need some air." Is all that Lazuli says before she takes off.

Peridot straightens up and watches her soar into the night sky. Feeling a bit put down, she mutters, "There's air here…"

Sighing, she looks down at the video case in her hands. The bright and bubbly Camp Pining Hearts cover stares back at her, almost offensively cheerful in this solemn mood. Peridot lets out a huff and sets it down. She goes to the back to the balcony, which is really just the front of the car sticking through the wall, and climbs through the window. The fall to the ground is less than graceful, but she picks herself up easily and walks outside.

' _Where did she go?'_ Peridot wonders, looking around. It's dark outside, so she uses her gem as a flashlight.

After about ten minutes of searching, Peridot comes across the silo and mentally smacks herself. ' _Of course she's here!'_ She thinks, ' _That's where she went the last time she wanted to be away from me!'_

Walking around the silo, she finds the ladder and starts the long climb upwards. She's shaking wearily by the time she reaches the top, but doesn't stop to rest. Balancing carefully, she walks across the curved top of the silo until she spots Lapis sitting nearby.

The ocean gem turns to look at her, only to hiss and shut her eyes. "Ahh, Peridot!" She growls, covering her face with one arm.

Peridot blinks and then realizes her gem just shined a bright light onto her face. "Oops, sorry," she says, turning the it off. Lapis simply sighs in response and looks away, putting her arms on top of her bent knees and resting her chin on them.

Quietly, Peridot walks over and sits down next to her. "Um… Are you okay?" She asks cautiously.

Silence meets her words.

Lapis doesn't say anything for so long, Peridot thinks that she's not going to bother answering. When she looks away to start admiring the view, however, the blue gem finally speaks.

"I wonder if I'll ever be able to love the ocean like I used to."

Peridot deadpans. That's… not what she was expecting. Instinctively, her time in the intelligence field back on Homeworld kicks in and she's able to form a logical answer.

"All Lapis Lazulis have a natural appreciation for water, given the fact that they have hydrokinetic powers, as you have shown on many occasions, such as condensing water molecules in the air into a liquid form, also known as water generation, and also including-"

She cuts herself off when Lapis sighs once more, slouching even further if possible. Clearing her throat, Peridot asks, "I'm not helping, am I?"

"Not really."

"Sorry."

There's only a short pause before Lapis speaks again.

"I, uh, never told you this, but I saw Jasper recently."

Peridot's head snaps towards her. "What?! When?!"

"It was when Steven and Greg took me out on that boat," the blue gem replies, "Jasper showed up and said she wanted to be Malachite with me again. I drove her off eventually when she tried to hurt Steven, but… I admit that I was tempted at first…" She trails off, looking away.

Her green friend is confused. "Tempted?"

Lapis opens her mouth to reply, but then shuts it and groans, pressing her face into her folded arms. Peridot is puzzled, but tentatively reaches over and pats her back awkwardly. Lapis peeks an eye out from behind her bicep, her lip twitching half-heartedly.

Peridot hesitates and then asks, "What, uh, was it like? To be fused with Jasper?" This question has bothered her for weeks, but Jasper is such a touchy subject with Lapis that she hasn't gotten around to asking her before.

Lapis rests her chin on her arms and looks away. "It was… exhausting," she replies heavily, "I was fighting her constantly; there was literally never a moment in which I could rest. I never paid attention to anything else, not even the time, so I was surprised when I found out that I had been fused with her for almost a year. Can you imagine that? I… I just started to lose myself. I had to focus on my hatred and anger at everything that had happened to fuel my strength, and eventually that was just everything I was. Just rage- that I was taking out on _her_."

"Then why were you tempted to be Malachite again?" Peridot asks.

Lapis sighs. "I just… I didn't realize it until after we unfused, but I… I _liked_ taking out all my anger on her. I mean, that's all that I had been doing for so long, and I-" She suddenly stops talking and squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head.

"I never want to fuse again."

Peridot blinks and tilts her head. She glances at her feet for a few moments before saying, "Well… not all fusions can be horrible like that. I mean, look at the permafu- ah, Garnet, for example."

Lapis lifts her head and looks at the green gem. "Have you ever fused with someone?"

"No," she replies, "Homeworld gems only fuse for battle, and I was in the intelligence field. Besides, they would only fuse with gems of their kind anyway." She hesitates before admitting, "I tried to fuse with Garnet once, but… I couldn't."

"Couldn't?" Lapis questions, looking curious.

Peridot, meanwhile, is a bit uncomfortable. "I just wasn't ready," she stammers, "It was just a lot to take in and there wasn't any research I could do before hand and- uh… I was scared…" A long silence draws out after that and Peridot looks away awkwardly.

Lapis doesn't say anything, letting the silence continue. Peridot glances at her to see that the ocean gem is looking up at the stars.

Finally, Lapis speaks again. "So, your green bubble showed up in the barn."

Peridot is glad for the change of subject. "Yeah," she says, "I told you about my little adventure with Steven and the corrupted gem, right?" Lapis nods and Peridot lifts her chin proudly, "The gem put up more of a fight than I thought it would, but alas, it was no match for me! Steven even complimented my physical form, saying how Peridots like myself are much harder to poof than other gems."

Lapis chuckles a bit and looks at her. Something flickers in her eyes and she asks, "Why would Homeworld make a gem made for technology more sturdy than one made for battle?"

Peridot purses her lips and replies honestly, "I don't know. I don't think they meant to. Era 2 Peridots like me are different from older gems. Homeworld is low on resources and aren't able to make gems with regular gem abilities. They gave us technological enhancements to make up for it, but I don't think they expected us to have other powers, like my metal abilities. Most gems from earlier have always had a weapon to summon…. Well, I guess my sturdiness is just another thing Homeworld didn't count on happening."

Her blue companion hums in thought. "Do you ever miss it there?" She asks after a moment.

Peridot tilts her head. "I used to miss it a lot more a few weeks ago. Now I only miss it occasionally."

"I agree," Lapis says, "I only missed it when I got out of the mirror and was trying to find my way back. Once I saw how different it had become… But anyway, I like it here on Earth better. There's more freedom to be what you want and be with who you want. We can do anything. We can have friends, family, lovers…" Lapis blinks and looks away, "Yellow Diamond would never understand that, though."

They fall into a silence again. Peridot, however, doesn't want the mood to become dreary again and decides to change the subject. "So, my bubble. Did you like it?"

Lapis's lip twitches upwards. "Yeah. How did you get it here, though? It just appeared right next to me."

"Oh," Peridot stammers, shifting her weight awkwardly, "Well, Steven said after I tapped the top of the bubble that it would go… home." At Lapis's blank stare, she adds, "And I guess that you're kind of part of my home now too."

"Oh!" Lapis exclaims, surprised. Peridot then watches with wide eyes as her cheeks darken in a blue blush. The ocean gem looks down sheepishly and laughs. It's not a perfect laugh; it's filled with snorts and snickers, but Peridot finds it beautiful anyway. She wants to make it happen more.

She's also surprised to find that her heart is beating fast once again. The green gem also notices that her cheeks feel warm and she's sweating as she laughs nervously. ' _What is happening?'_ She thinks frantically.

"Haha, yeah, er-" Peridot stammers, shifting again, "I guess since- ahh!" She suddenly slips on the silo and starts sliding down the curved top. She scrabbles for something to hold onto, but before she can she's falling off the edge.

"Ahh- oof!"

Arms wrap around her middle, right beneath her breasts, and she's just as suddenly she stops falling. Opening her eyes, she glances to her left and sees a blob of water appear briefly before floating upwards. Following it with her gaze, she realizes that it's actually one of Lapis's wings, and Lapis is the one that is holding her.

The ocean gem looks down at her worriedly, "Peridot! Are you okay?"

Peridot simply gawks at her, unable to respond. She's all too aware of how her back is pressed up against the other gem's torso and how soft the blue skin is against hers. Her heart is beating so loud that she can hear it in her ears and she can't seem to be able to focus on forming words.

Lapis is clearly dissatisfied with her lack of response and tightens her grip on the other gem. She swiftly swoops down to the balcony on the barn and lands lightly. Peridot hangs limply in her arms as she carries her over to the pile of blankets and sets her down gently on them.

"Peridot," Lapis says again, more firmly. She holds the green gem's gaze and places a comforting hand on her thigh. "Are you alright? Answer me."

Peridot blinks and shakes out of her stupor. "Yes!" She replies a bit too enthusiastically and winces, "I mean, yes, yeah, um, I'm fine. Thanks for catching me…"

Lapis looks relieved. "No problem. Are you sure you're okay? You look kind of spooked."

"I'm okay," Peridot replies nervously, "I'm fine, really!"

The blue gem doesn't look convinced.

Glancing around anxiously, Peridot spots the TV and quickly tries to distract her. "Well, uh, since we're here, do you want to watch another episode?"

Lapis looks at the TV, then back at her. She seems to be pondering something, but eventually nods. "Yeah, sure, why not? Just put on one without people drowning, okay?"

* * *

"Ugh, I don't like the looks of this," Lapis groans, watching the TV with half-lidded eyes.

" _Paulette, I want to know you. Like, know your soul."_

" _Tell me, Percy… What makes you cry?"_

" _The beauty of this moment is that it's so fleeting, always chased by another-"_

"Ugh, Percy no!" Lapis shouts at the TV, "Pierre is so much better for you!"

"Yeah," Peridot snickers, glad that Lapis's mood has increased in the last hour, "What an unstable fusion Percy and Paulette would make!"

Lapis snorts, but then stops abruptly. She tilts her head as she watches the show and then asks, "What are they doing?"

Peridot drags her eyes away from Lapis- ' _Quit staring at her, you clod!'_ \- and looks at the TV. Paulette and Percy are currently making out quite passionately.

"Are they trying to fuse?" Lapis questions further.

"I thought so at first," Peridot replies, "Steven eventually explained to me that this action is called 'kissing'. It's supposed to be a romantic thing or something. I don't know, Steven was very inconsistent and vague when he was explaining this- he seemed kind of awkward talking about it."

"I wonder why?"

Peridot isn't capable of replying because at that moment Lapis decides to lean against her again. Only this time it's kind of different. No, this time it's more like she _snuggled_ up against her.

Lapis's chin rests on Peridot's big hair and the green gem finds her cheek pressed against Lapis's shoulder. Peridot blinks and freezes. Her whole body is tense, her mind is whirling, her heart is beating rapidly, and her stomach feels like it's full of butterflies.

' _What is happening to me?'_ She thinks frantically, ' _I must have contracted some sort of Earth disease! Or-or… is it Lapis?'_ She tries glancing up at her companion, but Lapis seems comfortable so Peridot doesn't want to move much. ' _Well, she_ feels _relaxed. She's certainly paying more attention to the show than to me,'_ Peridot thinks, ' _Do Lapis Lazuli's have any specific effect on Peridots that I don't know about?'_

"You alright, Pear?" Lapis suddenly asks, not taking her eyes off screen, "You seem kind of tense."

"I'm fine."

Lapis hums in response, eyes fixated on the TV. Peridot swallows and tries to focus on the show.

Paulette is currently with her group of girls in their cabin. They appear to be getting ready for bed, and soon the lights are out and the camera focuses on Paulette's face in the dark.

"You know, I've always wondered about that," Lapis comments.

"What?" Peridot asks, "You mean sleeping?"

"Yeah," she replies, "I mean, humans seems to enjoy it a lot. Although I wonder how letting go of the control over your body and mind could be enjoyable. Not to mention the hallucinations."

"Dreams," Peridot corrects. There's a pause, in which she glances from the TV to Lapis. Shifting her weight, she suggests, "The episode is almost over- we can try sleeping, if you want to."

Lapis shrugs and agrees.

It takes a few moments, but eventually they figure out how to situate themselves like humans would. They decide to mold the blanket mountain into a sort of bean bag-like bed and crawl on top of it.

Peridot curls up with her back to Lazuli and closes her eyes, just like they do in the show.

…

…

… ' _Now what?'_ She mentally deadpans.

The nighttime has always seemed quiet, but now that her eyes are closed, Peridot can decipher many different sounds; crickets chirping, the occasional owl hoot, the wind blowing, and a faraway cow moos once in awhile. Peridot almost groans. ' _How can anyone fall asleep like this? What am I even supposed to do?'_ She considered calling Steven for a moment, but then she remembers that he's usually asleep during the night. ' _Ugh, he makes it seem so easy.'_

With nothing to distract her, Peridot quickly becomes bored. She can't tell if Lapis has succeeded in falling asleep, so she rolls over to face Lapis's back. Her eyes catch on the blue gem in between her shoulder blades.

"Hey Lapis, are you awake?" Peridot whispers.

"Yup."

"... Are you enjoying this human ritual?"

Lapis rolls over to face her and whispers back, "I don't think we're doing this right."

Peridot nods in agreement and decides to light up her gem slightly so that a soft green glow is cast over Lapis's face. Lapis smiles a bit, gazing at her with ocean-blue eyes. Peridot finds herself unable to look away from them; there's a green glint in them from her glowing gem, but it makes them look all the more dazzling.

She almost jumps in surprise when Lapis's hand trails up her body. Freezing, Peridot watches with wide eyes as the hand gently removes the visor on her face. Lapis sets it aside before resting her hand on Peridot's cheek. She has a bright, curious look on her face. Peridot, meanwhile, is mentally freaking out and finds herself unable to move, completely enraptured by Lapis Lazuli. Then, the blue gem leans her head closer… and their lips meet.

Peridot doesn't know what to do at first, and it seems like Lapis doesn't know either. Then, memories of _Camp Pining Hearts_ comes back to her and Peridot tries moving her lips a bit, surprised when Lapis's lips start doing the same. She feels the butterflies that were in her stomach melt away to a warm… _feeling_ spreading throughout her chest. Beginning to smile, Peridot kisses Lapis with more enthusiasm. Her blue companion is more than happy to reciprocate.

When they pull away, Lapis smiles down at her and says softly, "I think I like this human ritual much better."

Peridot blinks owlishly before giving her a blushing grin.

"Me too."


End file.
